Honest to little too late...

Have you ever noticed that no matter what you tell yourself, no matter what you believe in you always manage to miss the truth of a situation?
You sit back trying to analyse the very sinews of anything of consequence and meaning and often come back with new daunting questions that knock you to the core of your being, more so than the original situation. Questions always questions. Everyone wants to know this or everyone wants to know that and what happens when really deep down you know that whatever lame excuses you've given every procrastinating eagle eye and more importantly yourself you were never quite being honest.
Is it ok to lie to yourself to hold onto the things you want to believe in that little bit longer? Or should we be as ruthless with ourselves and our emotions as we would our unwanted possessions. Beliefs are possessions aren't they? Not tangible but all the same, some to be treasured and held onto others to be discarded as and when the time is right.
My dilemma as it stands stems from this idiosyncratic tendency to lie to myself and miss the truth of a situation. I would rather live my life with my silver spoon glued firmly into my mouth and my castle made of cookie dough to be as sweet as the day I was born into it. Nothing ever really goes wrong and my mountains really are molehills and the more I learn of other people and their situations as far from mine as my rose tinted glasses will enable me to see, the more I realise that whilst I chat rubbish about not being able to or wanting to see a situation for what it is or more importantly see exactly what it is but sitting on my over pampered backside and doing nothing about it, others wish they could be dealing with situations as trivial as mine.
I realise that after 8/9 months of being in this situation I have always know what I could have done about it and everyday for the last 8/9 months I have chosen to box up my "drama" and live with what I call "My pain" in the hope that my Knight in highly polished Armour would turn around and make my dreams come true. Castle made of cookie dough, happily ever after, the end!
But what I have failed to notice in my lying to myself to "protect" my "fragility" and keeping some dignity in what I believe in, my Knight in shining Armour has been somewhat tarnished and all I have succeeded in doing is neglecting the fact that whilst I screamed my demands and played my silly games, he was crumbling in front of me trying to hold himself together with whatever sticky goo happened to be lying around just so that he may keep some real dignity and stay true to real beliefs as opposed to my throwing my teddy out of the pram.
No one has taught me as much in such short amount of time about being honest and believing in myself as he has and yet I still lie to myself and procrastinate over non existent drama's missing what was true about the situation, I analysed every sinew of the metaphoric body, tangling myself in the web of questions from both myself and those around me who wanted nothing more than tomorrows dirty sheets, excusing myself with a lameness of put on innocence, knowing all along what was actually true. My verdict being that whilst lying to myself was acceptable when I was teen and didnt know any better now I'm older I should have known that "cute" isnt cute anymore and whilst I'll always have something to believe in, now through my own stupidity I may not be able to hold onto it for very much longer. All I should have ever been was honest.